


The Real Song of Fire and Ice: The Heat Miser and Snow Miser Fight For Your Affection

by totallynotnatalie



Category: GWA - Fandom, Original Work, Rankin-Bass Holiday Specials, gonewildaudio - Fandom
Genre: Doggy Style, First to Make You Cum Wins, Gonewildaudio, MM4F, Multi, Screenplay/Script Format, Taking Turns, Taunting, Teasing, Temperature Play, Twisted Claymation Specials, You Pick the Victor, alternate endings, gwa, light namecalling, mdom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28152291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotnatalie/pseuds/totallynotnatalie
Summary: One night, the listeners' friends got drunk at a bar and started debating who was better in bed: The Heat Miser or the Cold Miser. So, logically the listener clearly only had one choice...they had to find the brother and 'sample' each of them in order to determine who truly was the better investment. This script describes what follows...
Relationships: MM4F - Relationship
Kudos: 14





	The Real Song of Fire and Ice: The Heat Miser and Snow Miser Fight For Your Affection

MM4F] The Real Song of Fire and Ice: The Heat Miser and Snow Miser Fight For Your Affection [First to Make You Cum Wins][Temperature Play][Slight MDom][Taking Turns][Doggystyle][Teasing][Taunting][Light Namecalling][Alternate Endings][You Pick the Victor][Twisted Claymation Specials]

Summary: One night, the listeners' friends got drunk at a bar and started debating who was better in bed: The Heat Miser or the Cold Miser. So, logically the listener clearly only had one choice...they had to find the brother and 'sample' each of them in order to determine who truly was the better investment. This script describes what follows... 

Character List:  
Heat Miser (Heat): The angrier of the two brothers. He's hotheaded, intense, and impatient. 

Snow Miser (Snow): He's show-offy and flamboyant. He tries to be calm but his brother always gets him riled up.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Heat (arguing): I don't care. Mother Nature says that you have to give me September now too. 

Snow: Who cares what mom says? We're supposed to compromise on September. We have for millennia. 

Heat: Well, that was before all those fancy automobiles made your job impossible. Just too hard to blow the snow through all that smog, isn't it, baby brother? 

Snow: You're two minutes older than me! 

Heat: And yet so much hotter. 

Snow: Hot-headed is more like it. 

Heat: You're just jealous because mother likes me best. 

Snow: Oh, please. Mother just thinks I need a little time off. A break from the smog. Nothing more. It's not because you're more talented than me. 

Heat: But I *am* more talented than you now. Such a pity, the greenhouse gases make my job so easy and yours so terribly difficult. 

Snow: That's not talent. That's luck. 

Heat: No, luck is how you get all the good holidays. I'm so tired of seeing you with your nose up Santa's ass.

Snow: At least don't run crying to Mom every time there's a frost. 

Heat: Why you little...

Snow: Yet I'm so much taller than you. 

Heat: I swear I'll...Wait, that's the noise? 

Snow: Oh, do we have a guest? 

Heat (calling): Hey listen, whoever you are. This is our mountain and we don't want company. So, scram. 

Snow: So testy. Let's at least see who they are and what they want.

Heat: What they should want is to get lost. I'm not entertaining any more visitors after that Mrs.Claus incident.

Snow: Well, such a shame. If you were a little nicer, then you might get another day of heat at the north pole. 

Heat: With the way things are going, I'm probably getting that anyway. So, I have no interest in whatever this fellow is selling.

*door opening*

Snow: Ah, not a fellow. A lovely lady. Tell us what brings you to our castle? And how do you find it? It was a bit difficult to build on top of a mountain, though the magic helped. 

(pause)

Snow: Why thank you! Yes, it is quite marvelous isn't it? And even better, it shows our willingness to compromise. As you can see, his side is covered in warm fireplaces and mine is entirely ice. Oh, I suspect that you've heard rumors dear, but long gone are the days when we used to fight. And it has allowed us to achieve such beauty. 

Heat (muttering): Yeah right...

Snow: What?

Heat: Oh, nothing. But knock it off with the House Hunters speel and ask her why she came here already. 

Snow: Oh, can you for once have a sense of decorum? 

Heat: Oh, can you for once have a sense of shutting up? Girl, why are you here? Wait, nevermind. I know why. People only come here asking for one thing. So, just get on with it. Where you do want snow? Mexico City? Abu Dhabi? Long Beach? Really, your first request should be hell because I'm not giving up any land to wannabe Elsa until it freezes over. 

Snow: Shh. You're frightening her. And, will you for once try to keep an open mind? 

Heat: No. Why should I? 

Snow (sighing): I'm very sorry, dear. I'm afraid he's been much harder to negotiate with ever since that last climate change report. Now that he thinks that he'll get any territory he wants eventually, he's much less willing to trade with me. I can try to put in a good word...

Heat: But it won't work. Now listen bitch, you can't be a hero and save Christmas. I'm not dealing with that shit anymore, so go away. 

(pause) 

Heat: Are you deaf? I said leave. 

Snow: Ugh, do have a single ounce of empathy in your entire body? 

Heat: What? No, I'm not putting any of those weird herbs inside me. 

Snow: That's homeopathy. But I guess that answers my question well enough anyway. 

Heat: Whatever. Just say something nice that gets her to go away. 

Snow: No. Can't you see that she still wants to ask about something with the way that she's fidgeting? 

Heat: Sure, but if she's too nervous to ask, then she can stop wasting our time. Come on princess, let us what you want already or leave. You may have all the time in the world, but I need to prep for the next hurricane season. 

Snow: It's December! I think you can wait a couple of months. 

Heat: Which somehow still doesn't feel like enough time to get her open her goddamn mouth. 

Snow (sighing): Fine. Dear, will you please say something before *someone* has a temper tantrum? 

(pause)

Heat: Wait...

Snow: What?

Heat: Seriously? 

Snow: Just how drunk were you when that conversation happened? 

Heat: Shut up, snow boy. She wants to bang us. 

Snow: To see which one of us is better in bed. Yes, I heard. I have ears. But why do your friends what to know this only badly? And we did they elect to send you to find out this...information? 

Heat: Who fucking cares? We're going to do it, right? Or do her? 

Snow: Brother, sex is not a competition. 

Heat: Everything with us is competition. 

Snow: You don't even care about why she wants to do this? 

Heat: She's hot. I'm hot. You're cool. End of discussion. 

Snow: I guess...if she's a fan of ours. Is that why you volunteered to be the test subject, dear? 

(pause)

Heat: See? Now, come on. Let's get busy. Unless you're too afraid baby brother. 

Snow: I-

Heat: What's the matter? Think that you won't win. 

Snow: Don't be ridiculous. I'm more than ready to knock you out cold. 

Heat: Might not want to do that to her. 

Snow: Oh, not without pleasuring her first. 

Heat: I think that's my job. Come on, over babe. I'll show you how it's done. 

Snow: Oh no, you always go first. 

Heat: Because I'm older. 

Snow: By two freaking minutes. 

Heat: Still counts. Besides, this way, I can warm her up for you. 

Snow: Like I think that's all you're going to do. No, no, no. If we do this, then we're doing it fairly. I refused to lose to you again on some technicality. Each of us gets a limited amount of time with the girl, then she has to switch partners. The first one to make her orgasm wins. 

Heat: Wow, way to make sex about climaxing, bro. Real progressive of you. 

Snow: I simply thought it would be less awkward for the lady having her rate us at the end. See how relieved she looks? 

Heat: Whatever, I still get to go first right? 

Snow (sighing): Sure, fine. Just stop when you hear the bell. 

Heat: Whatever you want Mr. Freeze. I'll still win. Alright bitch, take off your clothes and come here. 

Snow: So sensitive. 

Heat: Some women like it rough...and some women like it hot. I think that chest could do with some warming up. 

*kissing*

Snow: It's been a millennium. You really ought to learn some new lines. 

Heat: If it ain't broke don't fix it, and it definitely ain't broke. 

Snow: Broken.

Heat: Whatever, I can already tell that she's getting wet. But I had better feel to make sure. 

*kissing*

Snow: Yet another old trick. 

Heat: If it worked, then I know a few more. Tell me, babe, do women of your generation still enjoy neck kisses.

*kissing* 

Heat: And do they enjoy slowly having their clit stroked? 

Heat: Mhmm? As they feel it slowly starting to heat up? Getting all warm and excited. 

*kissing*

Heat: Such a pity. You might not even get a turn, dear brother. She's already trembling. 

Snow: But more excitement is yet to...cum. And I know a certain hotshot who likes to finish before the race is over. 

Heat (annoyed): That was once and it was during the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. I *had* to be fast. 

Snow (muttering): Wasn't the only thing that exploded. 

Heat: Nice try. I know your game, brother. But you're not distracting me. She's too enticing. 

*kissing*

Heat: Too delicious. 

*kissing*

Heat: Too mine. 

Snow: Not for much longer...

*kissing*

*bell sound* 

Snow: I believe it's my turn now. 

Heat (panting): Fine, but getting cooled down won't be as half as fun for her as getting heated up. 

Snow: Oh, I have many ways of making her shiver. Come here and see for yourself, dear. 

Heat: If you can tear yourself out of my arms...

Snow: She seems to be managing just fine. Ah, there you are, dear. Now, just let me trail my cold fingers down your spine. Just to give you a few goosebumps.

Heat: Mhm, sounds unpleasant. 

Snow: Oh, not if you do it properly. The cold can be quite enticing...

*kiss*

Snow: And it can draw her nearer to me. The mix of the shiver down her back and the warmth of my arms. Doesn't it feel good, dear? 

*kiss* 

Heat: You still need heat for that trick to work. 

Snow: And you still need cold for her to notice the contrast. The same principle holds for you. But the chill can still delight in so many ways. It's why people love winter. And you do love winter, don't you dear? 

*kissing* 

Snow: And the protection that being close brings. As I cool you down and then pull you into me...

*kissing*

Snow: So that you can't go anywhere. 

Snow: You're as much mine as you were his. 

Heat: Oh, I wouldn't say that. 

Snow: Well then, I had better do more. 

*kiss* 

Snow: Let's see if you're still wet, sweetie. 

Snow: Shhh. It's okay. I know that my fingers are cold, but I promise that you can bear it. 

*kiss* 

Snow: Can they might make you shiver, but they will tease you well. 

Heat: Oh, don't fall for his banter. You can do so much better than him, baby. 

Snow: Well, I think that she has already fallen...I am winter after all. 

Heat: Boo. 

Snow: Still made her smile. Though, I'd love to do far more than that, sweetie. 

*kissing*

Snow: Would it be alright if I pet you, dear? 

*kiss*

Snow: Thank you. 

Heat: Please don't freeze the girl's poor cunt. 

Snow: Oh, I won't. Ease yourself onto me, dear. 

Snow: That's it. Just a bit more. 

Snow: Shh...Yes, it will be cold at first. But your cunt will start to warm it as the heat inside you grows. 

Snow (whisper): And you will start to drip with excitement. As I slip another finger inside you. 

Snow: It will be cold at first but you will start to warm it too..as I move my palm up and down...up and down..until I find exactly the right spot to really make you squirm.

Snow (laughing): Do you like that, sweetie? Come on, let's show my dear brother how much you can really dance. 

Heat: You can tease all you want, but I'll still do more with her. She will be mine in the end. 

Snow: Not with how she's riding my fingers. 

Heat: Well, I want to see what else she and ride. And this damn clock needs to hurry up already.

Snow: Tsk. Tsk. Always so impatient. 

Heat: I wouldn't have to be if the damn thing would-

*bell sound*

Snow: Well, well, well...saved by the bell. Such a shame, but I do play by the rules. Go to him now, dear. I just hope that he won't bore you to death. 

Heat: I don't bore. I ignite. And I think it's we picked up the pace a little, don't you babe? 

*kissing* 

Heat: Come on, let's show him how deep our passion really burns. 

Snow: Still always in such a hurry. 

Heat: Well, when the lady won't wait. 

Snow: Yet she's shying away from you. 

Heat: Only because she's embarrassed about what she craves...But she doesn't need to be. 

*kissing*

Heat: Come on, bitch. You wanted to know an answer to a question...

*kiss*

Heat: And my cock wants to give to you. I see you staring down at it. I know that you want it. I know that you crave it. 

*kiss* 

Heat: Then say it. Say how much you want it. 

Heat (angry): Dammit, say it. Tell me how much you fucking need it. 

Snow (annoyed): Will you calm down? 

Heat: Oh, not when it makes her that excited. I heard that scream, babe. 

*kiss*

Heat: And, if you want my cock, then you'll take it how I see fit to give it to you. Bend over the sofa, bitch. 

Heat: Yeah, just like that. I want to get a good look at your ass while I fuck you. 

Snow: Always so classy. 

Heat: She gets to watch the flames in the fireplace dance while I fill her up with my delicious cock. I'd say that's fucking classy enough. 

Snow: If you can last that long...

Heat: Oh, just watch me. You ready, babe? 

Heat: Oh fuck, you feel amazing. 

Snow: What was that about lasting? 

Heat: Nice try. I'm afraid it's going to take a little more to blow this candle out. 

Snow (groaning): Brother, you've got to work on your innuendos. 

Heat: I'd rather work on making her cum...if I just push myself deeper inside her...

Heat: Oh, does that feel good, dear? Do you like my wonderful cock inside you? 

Snow (muttering): As though her moans would suggest otherwise... 

Heat (ignoring): Oh, if you want more, babe...then I'll you more...oh, I'll give you so much fucking more. 

Heat: Fuck yes. Take it. Fucking take it. 

Heat Come on, babe. I know how badly you want it. 

Heat: I know how badly...

*bell sound* 

==========Ending #1==========

Snow: Well, I believe that makes it my-

Heat: I don't fucking care. 

Snow: Honestly, why can't you help by the rules for once? 

Heat: Fuck you. She doesn't want me to. 

Heat: Oh, oh. Do you babe?

Heat: Oh, fuck. You don't want to go back with that special snowflake, do you? You want to say with me, right?

Heat: You want to let me fuck you. 

*moaning*

Heat: Oh, fuck yes. Then scream it again, babe. Just like you did before: 

Heat: Oh, yes, yes. Fucking yes. 

Snow (grumbling): Well, if it's the lady wants....then I will be a gentleman. 

Heat: Oh, shut up, snow boy. At least you get to watch. 

Heat: As I make her scream for me again. 

Heat: Oh, come on, bitch. I know that you're close. 

Heat: Oh, come on, baby. Come on. I need you to cum for me. Please cum for me. 

*moaning*

Heat: Please. 

Heat: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Fuck yeah, babe. I won. I won. I-

Heat: Oh, fuck...I'm going to...

*orgasm* 

Snow (snidely): Like I said, you never could stand to wait. 

Heat (annoyed): Well, what does it matter if she's already cum? I still satisfied her just fine. And I still won.

Snow: Whatever, consider it an early Christmas Present. 

Heat: Like you did anything...except lose. 

Snow: Well, I still got to entertain a lovely lady so, in my mind, I still won. 

Heat: Oh, that is so fucking cheesy. 

Snow: As long as it made her smile. 

Heat: Oh yeah you, get dressed and get out of here. I've got hurricanes to attend to. 

Snow: Such lovely post-coital affection...

Heat: Whatever, she got her answer. She can leave now. 

Snow: But what if she wants to start another fire? 

Heat: Oh..well..uh..ahem.. (firmer) then she can come back tomorrow or whenever I fucking decide to have her again. 

Snow: Fine. At least say goodnight to her. 

Heat: Alright, Mr. Polite. Fine. Goodbye bitch. Thanks for the fun time. 

==========Ending #2==========

Snow: I believe that makes it my turn. 

Heat: Oh fuck, I want her. 

Snow: Yet she doesn't want you. See how her eyes are staring at me. At my cock? 

Heat: Oh, gross. 

Snow: I've already witnessed your beastliness. You should not complain. And you must play by the rules. We had an agreement. 

Heat: I don't give a shit about the agreement. But if she wants you, then I won't fucking argue. 

Heat (muttering): Although, I definitely question her judgment. 

Snow: Pout all you want. It's still my turn. 

Snow: No, no. Stay there, dear. I shall come to you. 

Snow (whispering): And kiss your back. 

*kissing* 

Snow: And would you like my cock, darling? 

Snow: Ah, no need to shout, dear. I'm a bit more secure than a certain someone. I can more than trust a nod. 

*kiss*

Snow: Good girl. Lie still. You will take my cock exactly as you took his. 

Heat: Wow, original. 

Snow: I seem to recall someone saying..ahem, If it isn't broken don't fix it, and it definitely isn't broken. 

Heat: I seem to recall someone saying that fucking her over the sofa wasn't classy enough. 

Snow: It wasn't...when you were doing it. I, however, am a bit more sophisticated in my techniques. 

Heat: Oh, please. 

Snow: Watch and learn, brother. And don't worry, dear. I won't ram into you. 

Snow: I'm going to start nice...

Snow: And slow. 

Snow: Mhmm...how does that feel, dear? 

Heat (muttering): Well, it looks pretty boring. 

Snow: Oh, not with how she's moaning. Oh, you're already so wet, sweetie. 

Heat: You can thank me for that. 

Snow: Oh, no. I don't think I will. I think I'll thank her tight little cunt. 

*moaning*

Snow: Oh, are you ready for more, darling? 

Heat (muttering): It's about time. 

Snow: Oh, ignore him. You can have such much of me as you want...

Snow: Whenever you want. 

Snow: But-but, oh, you feel so good. Oh, I'm more than happy to give you more. 

Snow: Yes, yes. Good girl. Take all of it now. 

Snow: Oh, come on, dear. Cum for me. 

Snow: Please, darling. I can't hold back much longer. 

Snow: Please, I want to feel you tighten around me hard cock. 

Snow: Oh, I need you. And I know you're close. 

Snow: Come on, dear. Give into it. 

Snow: Give into me. 

Snow: Yes, that's it dear. That's it. 

Snow: Oh, good girl. 

Snow: Yes. Yes. You may have my cum. You may have my cum. 

*orgasm*

Snow: Oh, thank you. Thank you. 

Snow: Oh, yes. You were wonderful, thank you. 

Heat: Oh, fucking down calm already. You sound pathetic. 

Snow: No, *you* sound pathetic. You're just upset that you've lost. Get over it. 

Heat: Whatever, bitch wasn't worth my time anyway. 

Snow: Don't speak to her like that. 

Heat: I'll say what I want. If she doesn't like then she can fucking leave. 

Snow: Fine then. Come on, dear. Perhaps you care to discuss things more somewhere privately? If you're to report back to your friend, we should make sure to give them a full assessment. 

Heat: Oh, you're so easy. 

Snow: Better than being lonely. Good night *older* brother.


End file.
